5 types of listening with examples10/18/2023 ![]() ![]() ![]() It takes no special skill, just a very specific desire: To see things the way they see them, even if we don’t want to or don’t agree with them. And during conflict, empathic listening is a very rare animal.Įmpathic listening is learnable. How often do we listen with the pure desire to see it the way they see it, to step even briefly into their universe and take a look around? I suspect most of us don’t do it very often, probably not daily, perhaps not even weekly. Only empathic listening, to the right of Covey’s line on the continuum, is listening from within the other person’s frame of reference. That’s the point of view from which we listen most of the time. Everything to the left of that line, he said, is listening from within our own frame of reference. ![]() We’re paying attention but primarily to feel good about our good listening or our good advice.Ĭovey drew a vertical line between attentive listening and the fifth type, empathic listening. Selective listening is listening for the things that will serve us - listening for the holes in their argument, perhaps, or for other things we can use to promote our own position or point of view.Īttentive listening is listening so we can do something with what we just heard, like giving advice. Very little of what they say is actually registering and we don’t really care what’s on their mind. They listen to the message in order to learn how the speaker thinks and how they feel about their message. The people-oriented listener is interested in the speaker. Pretend listening is a patronizing form of listening. If listening were easy, and if all people went about it in the same way, the task for a public speaker would be much easier. Ignoring doesn’t sound like listening at all, but we recognize it when we’re on the ignored end of it: The other person continuing to type while we’re speaking, or checking their phone multiple times during dinner conversation. Acknowledgment Responses For a listener to feel heard, they must feel acknowledged. He described a listening continuum that runs from ignoring all the way over on the left, to pretend listening, then selective listening, then attentive listening, and finally to empathic listening on the right. These five types are discussed further in the headings below, along with reflective listening examples. Dont mentally prepare a rebuttal Avoid being distracted by environmental factors. I once saw Stephen Covey speak about the types of listening. Theres listening for pleasure, like weve got customers over here. A passive listener is pretty much present in body only. For example, like how many nights you are staying with us Male in light coloured shirt: There are different types of listening. Below, we’re unpacking each type so you can evaluate your current status. When you say you’re listening, which type of listening are you really practicing? Of the five types, there’s only one that that’s the kind of deep listening that helps you resolve conflict better, be more persuasive, and strengthen the personal or business relationship. There are five types of listening: passive, selective, attentive, active, and empathetic. ![]()
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